Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Benediction and the M word

I went to the dermatologist in June and he zapped and sliced away. I left feeling relieved. By checking out the consequences of my many years in the sun, I had taken control of my health. And then what I thought was just the product of the zapping and slicing that was having a hard time healing  turned crusty and seemed to be getting bigger. It was the "crusty" word my husband used that sent me back to the dermatologist as a work-in. He said, "That's coming off. You did a good thing coming on back in."

Neither of us used the "M" word, but it loomed large there before us. When he patted me on the shoulder and said, "Sweet Sharman" in a voice too like a benediction for my comfort, I started hoping to see the light at Krispy Kreme flash HOT NOW. I needed a hot chocolate cream filled donut. Anyone who's got to face a long weekend to find out the results of a test like that deserves a hot chocolate glazed cream filled Krispy Kreme. It wasn't flashing when I passed on the way home.

When they diagnosed my Aunt Elizabeth with lung cancer that had metastasized to the bone they put her on a diet. I mean really! If there is ever a time not to diet, it is when you get bad news, I would think. As Erma Bombeck said, "Think of all those ladies on the Titanic that waved away the dessert tray!" 

Diet? That is the time that you ought to eat whatever your heart desires and you have denied yourself for your entire lifetime. Bring on the comfort food!

 All of us get those tests and then we must wait for what seems an eternity for the results. I am a half full person --except when it comes to medical tests. I always plan for the worst and then can experience relief when it is nothing. But, when it is something, I am prepared. 

I figure it doesn't hurt to give my will a bit of attention. 

I am struck with how easy it is to give advice to others when trouble strikes. Will I remember those words? This may not be THE TIME. But it is a trial run. Life is fleeting at its longest as every genealogist learns being awed by number and accomplishments of those who have come before.

Since the results will not be known until Monday, I have postponed calling ahead to find out the time for the HOT NOW light to next appear and therefore have NOT indulged in the aforesaid hot chocolate cream filled donut. I mean, I may get good news and the truth is there simply is not room enough in my stretch pants for me and a hot chocolate cream filled donut.

I could buy bigger pants.

It is funny the things you think about when the possibility of cancer looks you in the eye. You pray to have the courage to face whatever comes. You think about preparing those you love for life without you. You want to finish projects that may make a difference and give your life meaning. 

You talk to God in a more immediate way. He seems closer somehow. 

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